...the Utenzil website

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RAQ (Rarely/Rudely Asked Questions)

Q: What is the deal here, anyway?
A: I don't follow you.

Q: What are you trying to prove?
A: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Q: You really think you're something, don't you, with your
computer and your things and your stuff and all of that?
A: This is not making a whole lot of sense to me, I'm afraid.

Q: Free MP3s. Did anyone ask for your stinking free MP3s?
A: Well, free MP3s are supposed to be popular.

Q: But nobody asked for your free MP3s, did they?
A: Well, not really, but I thought...

Q: "You thought". Well, I guess you didn't think much.
You're not getting anybody actually downloading these, are you?
A: I have to say I don't like your tone much, but as a matter of
fact I get people downloading each day.

Q: What, like people you trick into clicking on links?
A: I don't think anybody is getting tricked.
I hardly promote this site at all, just here and there, but hundreds of downloads
happen for each MP3 I put up.

Q: Hundreds! That is, like, nothing on the internet. Who are you trying to impress?
A: Clearly, not you. This kind of music isn't really that popular
and it costs money that I don't have to promote a site.

Q: Ah, so what you'd really like is to pump up your traffic, to sell ads and make it seem
like you are really popular, when you are just some loser with a computer?
You are in it for the moolah, the greenbacks, the lucre, the cash-ola, but
you stink so bad you will never make any money, so now you are a jerk, ha?
So what you're saying is that even you don't believe in yourself enough
to promote yourself?
A: Uhm. There are a few questions there, but I think the answer is generally
"No". I don't have a lot of resources to promote myself, and
the whole promotion thing is a little like making up stories about
yourself that doesn't set well with me.

Q: Oh, yeh, like you are soOOoo genuine. More lik you're dying to
have a worldwide web hit. So, again, dweeb--
what's the deal here, with this music site you're trying to BS
everyone with?
A: well, who wouldn't want a worldwide hit?
But it's not that kind of music, I think that would be accepted like, it's like "basement"
electronic, kind of strange and melancholy and not harmonically vibrant
or sparkly.

Q: Oh, yeh, use your stupid musical terms to show me how artistically
deep and meaningful you are. 'Oh, I'm so UNderground". That's crap, you
don't really play clubs do you?
A: Clubs around here aren't into the original local electronic much. I've played
a few places, I'd prefer to play only in smoke-free venues if I can,
but there aren't many places like that.

Q: How THRilling, so you're a granola nazi, a veggie vitamin wimp?
A: Uh, no... The smell gets in your hair, your clothes,
it's bad for the equipment... I do try to eat healthy and exercise...

Q: What a TWINK! You are never going to make it anywhere trying to pick and
choose where you play. HA, you could do kids birthday parties! HA, ha
you could dress like a clown!!
Oh, that's funny.
A: The smoke... bleyuch... just takes a lot of the fun out of it for me,
and it's not like I can make that much money to make it worth it.
It does make it harder but, also, you'd be surprised how many places are going smoke free.
Kids' birthday parties, ha ha. Too loud for young kids,
too weird. Teenage kids like music they know, the big names.

Q: Cut it out, you are wanting to play places to impress women,
like that could happen.
A: No, I'm a family man. Getting gigs doing originals is harder anyway,
so might as well try to play places that aren't uncomfortable to be in.

Q: Like you do anything "hard" or "original",
you barely do anything but push buttons
and put together little clips of sound.
A: Well, no, I play instruments: guitar, some keyboards-- sing vocals
and program computer based sequencers. I like the recording,
I like listening to what comes out, record, put it up to share.
Yes, I want to promote, the CDs I sell, but I don't think there's a lot
of BS going on, really-- it's pretty much what it is.

Q: But you are just some, like, typical idiot.
You're kind of old, and sort of ugly-- you're not serious, are you?
There are already people like BT doing stuff you'll never do, that people
actually like. Why don't you give up, you fartball?
A: I've given up music before, actually, for a long while, and I've found I
just... need to keep doing it.
So, how serious do I need to be? At what point am I serious?
I put time into this, learning, school, even.
Have equipment, instruments.
I have to say, I could name a bunch
of kind of old, sort of ugly people that do music that are very popular.
Is mass popularity your criteria for showing somebody a shred of respect?
I'm thinking you are contemptuous of the big names, too, right?

Q: I'll ask the questions, funnyman. Look, you're trying to be a rockstar, but
you're just some self-aggrandizing nobody. You have T-shirts! Ha, you haven't
sold any, have you?
A: I've sold some.

Q: Liar! So you admit you are trying to be a rockstar?
A: I'm pretty sure nobody would ever be a rockstar with the type
of music I play. It's kind of esoteric.
Not lying, have sold some
They're colorful, some with words, kind of amusing, quirky, maybe.

Q: OH, so now you're all elistist avant garde! People like
you make me sick. You're just trying to make up for the fact you can't
rock a crowd with music they'd like because you are so lame you can't
really play or sing with a band, or mix the tunes, right?
A: I played with bands and sang for a long time. Nobody really wants to
play original music once they find out it's hard to get paid for it,
and when they find out how much work it is, the band falls by the wayside.
I don't want to use this equipment to play other people's music, it's not
that appealing to me.

Q: Because it's not the ego boost you want, and also you're a has been!
Washed up, no skills and no 'party starting ability'.
Admit it!
A: That's not a question.

Q: Admit it?!!
A: That's an interesting question. I don't think I've ever really wanted to
be that, dreaming up and playing the music and doing the discs and the covers
gives me a center, I guess. I do like performing, it's exciting.
It's not like I'm looking down on people, when I'm doing it...
maybe there is some ego boost, but you get that kind of a boost
from anything that's exciting and exercises your abilities.
is doing exciting things something else you hold against people?
Is everyone supposed to be brittle and loathing, like you?

Q: CUT it OUT, loser, I am Q, so I ask the Qs, NOT you.
There are a hundred artists people would rather see than you.
But you suck at it, or you'd be selling millions of records, right?!!
You stink at it, don't you??
A: I'd say there are some aspects I'm better at than others. I'm not sure
that selling millions of records is a matter at being good at what I'm doing.
I like to think that people listen to music as well as see performances.
What's all the venom about anyway?

Q: What you are, is ... you are just trying to waste time, get people to
oooh and aaaah and... you are just doing nothing, and trying to make it seem
like something, like you've got something to say that people really want to
hear when all you are is just playing around with stuff.
A: Is there a question there?

Q: You're LAZY using computers and stuff,
too, aren't you, you turd?
A: I heard how it could sound, I know it's so much work to do it with live
musicians, I don't like being told what to do when I play with other people,
when basically it's pretty likely nothing that sounds as good as what I
can do on my own with a computer will come of it.
I do like the electronic sounds, they just are really cool.
Look, I know you are trying for the gritty hard-hitting abrasive thing,
but the name calling is getting on my nerves.

Q: TooooOOoo BAD! Yeh, so, here's the real thing, yeh:
Aren't you just a big poser trying to pull off some kind of 'oh I'm a big
time musician producer I'm so cool you will want my autograph some day' when all you
are is loser like everyone else?
A: I don't think so. I've gotten some good comments about some of my tracks.
Not everyone likes them, that's true. But not everyone likes... well, a lot
of things. Even popular things are not liked by everyone. What you are asking
is typical paradoxical media crap: I'm supposed to be working hard at making
it big but at the same time I'm supposed to be down to earth, while at the same
time having some kind of "star quality" that makes me better while at the same
time...

Q: Stuff it-- you do want to be popular, you are just an attention seeker,
a grandstanding self-promoting bigmouth full of hot air and stupid dreams, you
care only about yourself and you will think you are something when you are just
wasting everyone's time! You admit it, NObody wants to hear your crappy music!
Say it, you suck! You stink! You are nobody with nothing playing for nobodies
from nowhere!
A: You sound like a Beatles song, there. Was there a question?

Q: Shutup! You stink. I'm tired of talking to you.
A: AH! You are pulling out the profound stuff now...

Q: You know what I think?
A: No.

Q: Shut Up! ... I think you are... you're what I said before,
when I was saying what I was saying.
A: Well, it mostly doesn't matter, because this is going to be
put on a website that, according to you-- nobody visits.


Here are some answers to unasked questions:

Utenzil is Mike Mc Morris, who began the project in 2004 after years of bands forming and dispersing, experimenting with a mix of computer software, digital synthesizers, live instruments and vocals.

Compositions range from instrumental, freeform and ambient with only electronics, to danceable structured rock-influenced songs. Utenzil self-produces all recorded material using computer software, licensed sample libraries, MIDI instrumentation, guitar and vocals. Live performances feature spontaneously improvised compositions.

Utenzil belongs to these online musician communities:
Garageband.com
Artistopia
EM411
©2008 mike mc morris
email contact utenzil@utenzil.com